Another post, far too late, that begins with an apology.
I apologize to all my non-existent readers for posts that are so few and far between. This past semester was more demanding than I ever anticipated. This university stuff is freakin' hard!
Honestly, Spring 2017 has been some of the most rigorous stuff I've been through in my entire academic career. Semester long group projects, reading, papers, early mornings, poor eating habits, the works... You know, all the normal things a college kid endures.
All things considered, I actually did pretty well in my classes. Best grades I've gotten in years. I'd like to think it's given me confidence in going forward but in all honesty, it hasn't. I'm starting to realize that maybe I bit off more than I can chew with my classes for the summer semester, but I have to do what I have to do. All to graduate on time.
Oh yeah, I guess I kind of buried that lead. If all goes well, I'll be graduating next spring! A year from now!! Only four years too late but, who's counting? (Me.)
Knowing this time next year, I'll be done and things will change feels incredible daunting. A lot of people are proud and excited. It's taken me so long and the progress has felt like it's moved slower than glaciers, but it's all happening. It's all coming together. The chapter is ending.
I've lived a majority of my life with a lot of disappointment. Disappointment in others, others disappointed in me, me disappointed in myself. I went through a lot of really messed up things before I was even aware of them or their magnitude, or the effect these issues would have on me when I grew up. It's shaped how my brain works, how my feelings and instincts operate. So much good is happening for me right now. I'm on the cusp of so much. But even with all that, I can't help but ask myself, what's going to go wrong? How is all of this going to get pulled out from under me? What am I not going to be good enough for? What will I have to settle on? The fear is real and something I'll never be able to shake.
But I can ignore it pretty well. Or push it down into one of those crevices we all have deep in our brains. (Until its screams are too loud to ignore.)
I want to be excited about the future. I'm past due for all of this. Part of me is so ready to move on. I made a choice to stop working because I wanted to finish school faster and I'm apparently doing that. So now I have to start getting ready for what's next and know that I'll be prepared to do the right thing and make the right choices.
For now, I have reading to do.
What's something you've been enjoying in pop culture Alex?
I've been so busy with a lot lately that I haven't been taking in any *new* pop culture, but I have a few things.
House of Cards Season 5
My boyfriend and I are slowly making our way through it. We are watching separately but together, if that makes any sense. This season feels a little slow but I feel as though we are right on the cusp of it all blowing up to being the dramatic House of Cards we know and love. After the disaster that was season 3, season 4 recovered and season 5 seems to be in between. I'll keep you all posted on how it all unfolds.
You can watch House Of Cards Seasons 1-5 with a Netflix subscription.
Silicon Valley Season 4
This show is AMAZING! Just about a group of nerdy dudes trying to make it in Silicon Valley. I can't express how great this show is. Even if you don't think the show is for you, give it a try. I know nothing about tech development or creating an app or anything like that. It's a miracle I can even create this blog, tbh and I don't really know how well that's even going. Regardless, knowing nothing about technology or business or all the things you need to know to succeed in Silicon Valley, I still find this show incredibly enjoyable. The comedy is great. The writers do a great job at expressing the problems the characters face even if the viewers don't get it, and the storylines are astounding. This group of nerds get into pretty sticky situations but manage to land jelly side up a lot. It's incredible. You must give this show a try.
You can watch Silicon Valley Seasons 1-4 with an HBO or HBONow subscription.
I've been having a SUPER hard time trying to find the right jams to play in the car lately. I've been in a mood where all I've listened to recently is 90's boybands but with summer coming up, and no definitive "song of the summer," I'm at a loss. One song I'm really digging however is Slow Hands by Niall Horan. Yes, yes, I know. Niall? Really? Yeah. I was a Directioner. Still am and proud of it. Those guys are talented and adorbs. Since their "hiatus" a few years back, they took some well deserved time off and are now coming out with solo work. While Harry Styles was projected to be the Justin Timberlake of this new group, I think Niall is slaying the game with his new single. Slow Hands is deep, it's also flirty and sexy at the same time.
Take a listen to Slow Hands here!