As we are 3 days into 2019, it seems kind of silly to dwell on the past but, as per my “brand,” I’m late to the game here with my ~*2018 reflections*~ so, here we go.
2018 was…wild. There’s no other way I feel like I can put it. There was plenty of good stuff that happened coupled with some pretty major bad things and some general sad stuff.
I graduated college! Yes! It’s real! I have a paper with fancy font and my name on it to prove it! All the stress and fretting and horrendous sleep habits resulted in my degree! I can’t express enough my thanks to my parents for everything they did to get me through my time at CSUF. From dealing with my cranky ass week to week, to having hot caffeine for when I leave at 6:30 am, to respecting my choices and decisions every step of the way. I owe them so much and I hope, once I get my career rolling, I make them proud and do right by them. My boyfriend, Zach, and friends also helped a bunch during those moments where I’d text them and say, “quick…do I want to go to class today or nah?” and they say, “yes, you idiot” or something to that effect.
I traveled a ton! No seriously! I guess the term “ton” is subjective here but seriously I traveled more than I ever have before this year and further than I have in quite some time! Even I can’t believe it but I went to the east coast on 3 different occasions during 2018, and all over too! North, central and south!
My first trip was to New York City, my graduation gift from my parents. I absolutely, truly fell in love with NYC, like many suckers before me. I can’t really explain why or how but everything about life there appeals to me in some type of way. Since it was my first time there, Zach and I did mostly touristy stuff. This ensures a return trip where we a) get out of lower Manhattan/north of 59th Street and b) explore more of what the city has to offer! Highlights included visiting the 9/11 Memorial Museum (a must visit), exploring Chelsea and Greenwich Village and the Yankee-Red Sox game! I absolutely can’t wait to go back, preferably when it’s colder because for real, summer in the city ain’t no joke.
My second trip was to ORLANDOOOOOOO. That was a Book Of Mormon musical joke so if you don’t get it please forgive the flourish. My trip to Florida was short but jam-packed. My mom is big into crafting and there was a convention in town she couldn’t miss. Pair that with not wanting to travel alone and hello Orlando. While my mom crafted away, I explored Universal Studios and Walt Disney World. It was my first visit to the parks in about 5 years so it was cool to revisit old favorites, see what had changed. I was absolutely amazed with Universal’s new Diagon Alley and completely enamored with Epcot. It did get a little lonely experiencing everything alone but I got to do some great exploring.
My last trip back East was to Washington DC with Zach. His best friend and his wife moved out there earlier in the year and we made the trek to visit them. It was my first time being in DC since I went for an 8th grade trip. It was awesome to experience the city with such a different perspective on everything. Not just being older but understanding what legitimately goes down in that city and how it affects the country, moreover having a say in all of it as a registered voter. It was weirdly enthralling. Plus, I couldn’t help but compare it to NYC. DC felt like NYC 2.0. There’s plenty of similarities (walkability, dynamite public transportation system, etc.) but it also seems like developers of DC improved upon the flaws of NYC, like the width of the sidewalks. They also passed a law that said no building (barring monuments to first presidents obviously) was to be taller than 12 stories, aka the height of the Capital building (or Cap Hill as it’s referred to by professionals). This definitely makes the city feel more open and less like you’re enveloped in this giant presence. I’m kind of into the skyscrapers personally but the openness was refreshing. To top it off, it was cold as hell! I loved it! Layering! Heavy coats! Scarves and beanies! Man, California weather is WASTED on me because I love the cold.
With the good also came some major bad stuff. Not a lot but very impactful.
Since graduating I still don’t have a full time job. I’ve been diligent in my search and interviewed here and there but nothing’s stuck. It’s really hard not to get discouraged and start questioning everything to find some reason rationale for why all my hard work in school isn’t paying off, or if I did enough while I was there. I could play the what if game forever but spiraling into a rabbit hole like that doesn’t solve my problem. Before the holidays I met with a staffing agency which hopefully will lead me in the right direction. It’s clear I don’t know what I’m doing so it’s time to put it into the hands of people who do.
And finally, probably the worst thing that happened to me all year:
A few weeks after graduation, I got into the worst car accident of my life. My trusty Ford Escape, Tommy, sacrificed his life for mine. Literally. The details are foggy but the result definitely isn’t. Long story short, I misread the signals, ran a red light, crashed into another car and my TommyBoy flipped onto its roof. By some [expletive redacted] miracle, I walked away completely unscathed. While I was in the car, I managed to call my dad and tell him I’d been in an accident and that I was okay. He called my mom and they came to the scene immediately. According to my mom, knowing from my dad that he had talked to me and that I was fine was very reassuring when they both arrived to the scene. Turning the corner and seeing their daughter’s car flipped was horrifying. But Dad had talked to me. I was okay enough to call him. I was fine. To be quite honest, how physically fine I was is astounding even to this day. I walked away from that accident without a pain or a scratch. The scars are all internal of course. My mental health hasn’t been the same since. Driving hasn’t been the same since. Typing this right now is not doing myself any favors but it happened. This post is a reflection and ignoring what happened in the past doesn’t change anything. I don’t know if I believe everything happens for a reason. I don’t know if I believe in any sort of deity. But I do know that I cashed in a lot of Life Points that day and I need to start taking the steps to better myself, earn back those points and make the most of life because I’m still here.
Looking to the future…
I think 2019 is going to be a real game changer for me. I’m on the brink of so many things and there’s a wide potential for something amazing and/or unexpected to happen. I am so here for it.
For starters I’m dubbing all of 2019 as Wedding Szn because I’m already scheduled to attend THREE different weddings, two of which I’m in! Wild, right?
I also need to get that job thing straightened out. I’m putting a lot of faith in the staffing agency. I’m sure they’re good at what they do so I need to not mess it up.
Finally, I’m heading into 2019 with a Deadpool-ian approach: MAXIMUM EFFORT. Always and in all ways. I have tons of plans, ideas and projects in the works and it’s time for me to get up off my rear and get cracking.
Here’s to the next 12 months. Let’s get to work!